My Honest Thoughts: Pregnancy & Faith

I'm 18 weeks, and exactly one week from today we find out the sex of our precious baby.  I cannot wait to find out!

As my stomach has gotten bigger and this whole pregnancy thing has started to become more and more real to me, I find that my brain will not turn off.  Pregnancy is an exciting and nerve-wracking time.  If you've never been pregnant, you're probably wondering, how could it be nerve-wracking?  Well, the 1st trimester is when most miscarriages take place, so for some, it can be a scary time.  Many people wait to announce their pregnancy until after their 1st trimester is over.  We announced ours at 7 weeks because we were so excited and wanted to share the great news immediately. We even had someone say to us, "Don't you think you should have waited until the 2nd trimester in case of a miscarriage?"  Why on earth would someone say that to expecting parents, I have no idea.  Anyway, as I'm in my 2nd trimester and go 6 weeks between midwife appointments, I just have to wait and trust that everything is going along great inside of me.  There have been times when I wished I could just hear the baby's heart beat or feel the baby move for reassurance that everything is okay.  One day I thought about just walking into my midwife's office just to hear the heart beat for my personal reassurance.  But then the more I thought about it, I was truly ashamed of my unbelief; my doubting God.  I'm not saying there would have been anything wrong for me to go and hear the heart beat if it made me feel better.  But I realized there was a deeper issue going on inside of me than just that.  I was trying to control the situation, rather than just trust in the fact that God is God, and I am not.   Some days I work with NICU babies at Vanderbilt, so I see worst case scenarios of these precious newborn babies.  Between my experiences in NICU and the recent news of a girl from my hometown area whose little baby died from SIDS, my heart just breaks for these families.  As a woman who is pregnant and very emotional, I've realized I have 2 choices: 1. To live in fear & worry. 2. To trust in God that HE is sovereign, & His plan is far greater than any plan of our own.  I'm choosing to trust the Lord with this child that He has chosen and placed in my womb.  My baby isn't even here yet but I'm reminded that Eric and I must place this child and our future children in the hands of the Lord, for they are HIS children more than they are our own.  In the end, we are only their guardians, a vessel that the Lord is using during our time on earth.  It's hard to imagine, but God loves our children far more than we could ever love them.  What reassuring truth!

Sorry for the deep blog post, but I felt like I needed to get that out as I have been struggling with my wavering faith lately.   I'm so thankful we serve a mighty God who is quick to forgive and quick to offer grace to us.

1 Samuel 1:27–28
"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD."

17 Weeks

 

How far along: 17 weeks

Size of baby: Grapefruit
Movement: Last night I thought I felt something like a popcorn "pop," but I'm not sure if it was the baby or just my imagination.  It happened twice last night, but who knows. 
Sleep:  I've never been a fabulous sleeper, so waking up a few times is normal for me.  I am tossing & turning more, & I head to the bathroom once every night around 3 am. 
Cravings:  Anything sweet
Queasy or sick:  Only strong smells bother me
Showing Yet:  Yup!
Maternity Clothes:  Eric & I went to Old Navy today to look for maternity jeans for me, but they didn't have my size.  I did get a maternity white t-shirt that was on sale for $6.50. 
Belly Button In or Out? In, but I keep noticing that it's getting more and more shallow. Yikes!
Wedding Ring On or Off? On
Miss Anything? A glass of red wine
High of the week:  Eric didn't have to work Saturday, so we spent the ENTIRE day together, which rarely happens. We had a fabulous day together!
Low of the week:  Ole Miss (my alma mater) & Alabama (Eric's alma mater) played each other in football and we lost.  We didn't just lose, we got destroyed.  Hoping Ole Miss has a better season next year.  Eric and I have already been talking about what the baby is going to wear for this game next year.  We're thinking my mom will have to make an outfit that has Ole Miss & Alabama on it.  It's only fair.  :)
Happy or Moody most of the time: Always happy unless I'm tired or hungry.
Gender Prediction:  I have NO idea anymore! Every Old Wives tale says girl, but then everyone says those are never right, so I guess I'll just keep waiting.
Looking Forward to: Feeling our baby kick & finding out the sex in 11 days!!

16 Weeks

How far along: 16 weeks
Size of baby: Avocado
Movement: Nothing yet...still waiting to feel that "flutter."
Sleep:  I got a snoogle! It's a pregnancy pillow that is c-shaped, and I must admit that it definitely does wonders to support my back.  I had heard mixed reviews on this pillow.  Women either hate it or love it.  I would say that I LOVE the support it gives my back when I'm on my side, but wish it gave more stomach support.  The other morning, I mentioned to Eric about possibly taking it back and just getting a body pillow, and he got all upset because he loves the pillow! He said that it supports his back too! lol  So, I guess the pillow is great in that it's helping both of us.  I guess it's a keeper!
Cravings:  Black bean soup & anything sweet
Queasy or sick: When I cook dinner, the smell makes me nauseous. 
Showing Yet:  Yup!
Maternity Clothes: Not yet, but I am wearing my sister-in-law, Amiee's, belly band over most of my pants because they are too tight when buttoned.
Miss Anything?  SUSHI! But I ate it saturday night for the first time during pregnancy, and it tasted divine! I do miss eating raw sushi.  I also miss eating sandwiches w/ deli meat. I hate having to heat it up (I'll admit that a few times I haven't :)  I told Eric that as soon as I push this baby out, we're going to celebrate by enjoying everything I couldn't have during pregnancy.
High of the week:  I'm starting to feel better, yay!
Low of the week:  Eric and I went to the movies yesterday to see "Courageous," and the lady behind us had some STRONG perfume on, and I wanted to gag.  Her perfume probably wasn't as strong as I'm making it out to be, but since pregnancy heightens your senses, any smell is extremely strong to me.  I'm definitely not a fan of perfume or strong lotions during this time.  I had to ask my co worker if she would wear a different lotion because she sits really close to me and the lotion is just too much for me.
Happy or Moody most of the time:  I'll be honest that I'm moody, but usually only if I'm hungry or tired. :) The rest of the time, I'm happy! lol
Gender Prediction:  Well, I have been thinking girl this whole time, but for some reason this week I keep thinking it's a boy. We'll see!
Looking Forward to: October 27 at exactly 7pm when we cut that cake and find out the sex. This momma is getting VERY impatient. I need something to distract me until then. ;)

Gotta get ready for Body Pump now. So thankful for a workout I can do all throughout pregnancy!  Have a great week!

15 Weeks

I am 15 weeks pregnant and definitely starting to show more.  This picture was taken right before we went out for my birthday dinner Friday night.  My sweet mom made the chalkboard sign for me.  And as I'm writing this post, I JUST now realized that I skipped the word "of" on the board.  "Baby Pardue is the size OF an orange."  Pregnancy brain moment, I guess? haha
Here is my 15 week update:

How far along: 15 weeks
Movement: Nothing yet
Sleep:  I've always been a stomach sleeper, and am still trying to sleep on my stomach (partially) with a pillow stuffed under me for support.  Let's just say I'm already tossing & turning most of the night.  Does anyone know if those pregnancy pillows really work or not? Trying to decide whether to get one of those or just a regular body pillow.  Any advice is welcomed!
Cravings:  Nausea has subsided for the most part, so I'm finally able to eat vegetables again. Yay! Still craving anything made from potatoes (mashed potatoes & chick-fil-A fries are my favorite).
Showing Yet:  Yes, especially after a big meal
High of the week:  We got some baby furniture! I found furniture last month at an antique store in Nolensville when my mom, Amiee, and I were shopping.  One of the pieces is a beautiful 1800's armoire.  We also got a dresser and a night stand from there.  My mother-in-law and father-in-law came yesterday and helped us move it into the soon to be nursery.  Now to find a crib!
Low of the week:  Major sinus problems. I just want to breathe at night. :)
Happy or Moody:  I am happy the majority of the time, but I will admit that if I go too long without food, I tend to get a little testy.  I find myself getting a little impatient with people as well...definitely praying about this.  I blame it on the hormones, though! lol
Gender Prediction:  Girl, but now that most people think girl, watch baby Pardue be a boy. haha Either way, I'm thrilled!  Reveal date: Oct. 27, 2011!!
Looking Forward to:  Hopefully feeling the baby move in the next few weeks.